I just posted this over at My Charming Kids, but thought I would share on my own blog.
I mean, I blog my life.
Let me ask, how was your day?
Mine, wasn't the worst day that I have ever had, but it certainly revealed my . . . well . . . sin nature.
Marriage was supposed to be my mirror. But I tell you, children . . . and parenting Hottie Hubby's children (OK, they are mine, too) is like having a magnifying glass glued to my heart.
September 18th, 2009 finished with bright flashing lights in my rearview mirror and brought a complete wordless summary to the end of my rather crapy day.
Grace.
The police officer pulled me over for speeding. Yes, it is possible to speed in a minivan.
I was trying to catch up with the Hottie Hubby, who was pretending to be a race car driver.
Today, I also threw a John Deere toy tractor. I thought I broke it. But I didn't. However, I have broken another toy this week. A motorcycle. I acted like a baby. I expected a 1 year old to hold still while I put on his diaper. I questioned a 5 year old why he would laugh hysterically at something my 1 year old was doing that really wasn't so funny. I scolded my dog for her obnoxious farts. I was addicted to tweeting. I put a disposable diaper on my child. I stirred up strife with my 3 year old. I got frustrated at my husband being kind to me. I also had to try and explain to my children why we didn't allow our dog to have puppies. That only beget more questions about anatomy that I really didn't want to discuss. Is it so wrong to not want puppies? (Did anyone pronounce that with an accent like in Nacho Libre?)
I felt guilty about my mothering. This is what I thought about as I sat waiting for him to make sure that I wasn't a convict. In my mind, I simply thought, "It figures. Payback for being so nasty." (Has anyone heard of the song Nasty Dan by Johnny Cash?)
But because the police officer listened to my story about leaving my drivers license in the pocket of the pants I wore to the U2 concert this past Sunday (yikes--that was an inadvertent confession that I had been driving without my license all week!) . . . I honestly hadn't meant to do this. I would have eventually put the blasted mug shot back in my wallet once I realized that it was missing.
. . . . and told me that he would only give me a warning--I experienced God's grace.
He gave me two police officer badge stickers for the boys. He thought they would like them. I told the officer they would be over the top excited. He said that would make his day.
Ahh . . . no, grace made my day.
Do you think he would have like to have had his picture taken for my blog? I debated and decided to pass on offering that tantilizing opportunity to him.
Thanks, Mr. Policeman. Thanks, God.
Looking back, looking ahead…
3 years ago
4 comments:
I think we all stumble a bit. We can't be perfect every moment. I am glad that the police officer recognized that we can't be perfect every moment too and gave you a break.
Ah, dear, I think every single person can look at a period of hours or even days and castigate themselves for most of their behavior. There are some mistakes I've made with my daughter that I'd give ANYthing to undo, but I can't. What I can do is what I did, which is to tell her seriously and with all my heart that I was so sorry, that I was so wrong to speak as I did and that I would never do that again. With God's help, I have not. But Satan is always going to be trying to make me stumble.
You are SUCH a good wife and mother; you are so much the woman I wish I were with the life I wish I could have. I admire you in more ways than you could imagine. Please be kind to yourself and remember what our pastor always says, that God has forgiven you, so you have to forgive you, too, and go on and do better today. It's my bet that you already have...done better, that is.
Blessings to you, always.
Lucky, lucky, lucky duck, you!!!!
this must be what you were tweeting about.
maybe I'm sadistic, but I really appreciate posts where mamma's show their kryptonite. makes me feel human.
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