Thursday, April 16, 2009

The "Me Time" Myth

I have come to realize that the more time I have to myself the more time I want. My friend, Tona, pointed this truth out gently, as she, Laurel and I attempted adult conversation amidst 9 children several months ago. There are many times throughout my day and week that I have a thought pass through my head such as,

"I deserve some alone time."

"I wish I could just have a day to do whatever I want. Sleep in, read a book, sit and have coffee, stare at the clouds."

"When the Hot Hubby gets home, I am sneaking upstairs to take a bath (or sew)."

"The dishes can wait, I'm sitting on the couch."

"Why didn't God let men make Father's Milk?"

"I need a break. I'm not getting up again to get him some water."

It's 2 am and I hear pitter-patter, "Please let him walk to the Hot Hubby's side of the bed. Please!"

And the list of selfish thoughts go on and on.

When I have my "me time," I am so excited to be out. But often my "me time" consists of running errands. New underwear for Mr. Easy. I need to pick up toilet paper. Stickers for school. Packages to be mailed. The list can be endless.
By the time I sit down at Starbucks, there isn't enough time to rest and perhaps really drink something that would refresh and quench my thirst for meaning and purpose to my day.

On a day I was engaging in some extreme lamenting to my dog about my trials as a mother, which really aren't serious burdens, I received an email from in which I, along with other subscribers, were offered free WeE-Books in exchange for a written review of these books via a blog post or an email. In fact, if I review the downloaded books, I can enter to win free curriculum (as long as I use and write a review of my free items).
Always enticed by the word "free" I decided to check it out.

Enter Amy Roberts' WeE-Book, The "Me-time" Myth. I got to the second paragraph and knew that Amy must have been reading my journal. How did she know my very thoughts? How did she know my bizarre feelings of loving and hating my "me-time?" So many times I come home from "me-time" and I find my feelings of refreshment robbed from me in each unwashed dish in the sink, toy lying on the ground, pillow aimlessly tossed on the dog bed, blinking light on the answering machine, and emails screaming to be answered. I always question myself, "Was it really worth being gone?" (Disclaimer: this in NO WAY is a critique of the amazing family members that love on my precious children when I am away. Without you lovely people I would be surrounded by five foot high laundry piles! Bills would not be paid. Children would fail to be snuggled. And even if the house were spotless when I returned home (which it often is), my "me time" wouldn't be successful unless one thing happened--but I can't reveal that! You have to read the book, too.)

Amy Roberts nails my thoughts when she writes, "'Me time,' is a myth. It is an unattainable, always interruptible, never satisfying piece of junk psychology. 'Me time,' by its very name, suggests that who we are during the daily grind is not who we truly are. It begs us to search for fulfillment outside of the titles of 'wife' and 'mother'."

Ladies and Gentlemen, "me time" is a "monster that will swallow us if we neglect to feed it 'me time'." It really is somewhat selfish of us to expect or demand such time. Ouch.

It hurts, doesn't it. Yet, is there a solution? I know for a fact that I love alone time. I am recharged by being alone. Does this mean that I am being selfish? At times, I must admit that I feel if I don't have my alone time, my "me time," that I will snap. And of course, it won't be my fault for a lack of self control. It's because the kids didn't allow me to have "me time."

There is a solution. And Amy Roberts gently instructs how to slay the monster of "me." But if I told you how, you probably wouldn't read the book! Check out Amy Robert's book, The "Me Time" Myth. Better yet, become a subscriber of and be blessed by free WeE-Books!


Kristen McG said...

Whoa! I better put that one on my 'to read' list. The quotes in red... man, oh man. Yes, I must read this one.. after I order and read Shepherding a Child's Heart. :)

Sarah said...

This is going on my list too!

Raisingarrows said...

Thank you so much for the awesome review of my article! I am still very much surprised by how many people relate to what I was feeling. So glad you enjoyed the article.

GranolaMom4God said...

How fun that you wrote, Amy! I loved your article. Were you just searching to see who had written a review? I'm glad that you found me so that you could see God working! Your words have helped me through a bit of a difficult week! Thanks!