Friday, May 28, 2010

Confirmation – Finally!

I have been praying about a certain decision that needed to be made.

I had been asked to do something.  Most of me didn’t want to do it . . . because I do this “thing” basically 24/7 . . . and at times I feel like I don’t accomplish the task very well.

Which is probably a lie from the pit of hell and should be eaten by moths.

I wrestled with this decision because even though I am not passionate about what I was asked to consider . . . I didn’t want to be disobedient.

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Remember, I’m doing the Experiencing God bible study right now.  And I have really come to understand the consequences of disobedience, not the mention the joy and blessing of being in God’s will.  

For approximately 4 weeks or so, I have prayed about this decision.  I’ve felt bad that it has taken me so long.  But I have asked my “girls” at home fellowship, talked about it extensively with the Hottie Hubby, rambled on about it with my favorite (no-longer-a-high-schooler) Saundra, and journaled brilliantly to the Lord.  After all that, what remained (until today) was silence and guilt and a desire to please man.

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Nevertheless, I waited.  I wanted some Scripture to confirm my decision either “yes” or “no.”

It came.

I’m so glad that I am reading through the New Testament and Psalms.  How would I have ever known God’s plans for me? 

For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.  I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.  2 Corinthian 12:14

As a mom, my job is to invest in my children.  The Hottie and I decided this even before we were married . . . it’s even in our wedding vows.  (Maybe I’ll share those with you on June 5th!)  Being spent for them isn’t just money – time, planning, teaching, prayer, food preparation, cultural development, loss of sleep, changes in the shape of my body, etc. 

Currently, they are the work of art that God has given me to paint, shape, and well . . . send through the kiln.

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I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  Ephesians 4:1

My calling has been established.  I have two kids literally sitting in front of me, one bambino sleeping, a mango growing inside of me, and one baby in heaven.  Humility requires seeking the Lord daily as to how I should tackle my job and begging the Lord to help grow in me (and practice) gentleness, patience, love, unity, and peace.  I have come to find out that when I am spread too thin or gone too much . . . I fail miserably at the task.  I’m called to be spent for MY KIDS.

And so, I made my decision.  I am in a place in my life where I need to say no – for the sanity of my family and the preservation of the task that God has called me to.  It is OK to say no.  I don’t have to say yes out of guilt or what other people will think. 

If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of God.  Galatians 1:10

Some decisions are hard.  Especially when there is a need.  And it is an important need. 

I know I have been vague. 

That was on purpose. 

The decision the Lord and I reached was based on a case-by-case prayerful decision relevant to my life.  Not yours.  But I wanted to process it with you.  And maybe you have a big decision to make.  Maybe you just needed to be reminded of the fact that you need some Scripture to confirm your “yes” or “no.”

Just saying.

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