Tidings Eternal

He asked me what tidings meant as he hung the angel he had decorated last year on our freshly cut tree.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  (Luke 2:10)

These days, Ezra asks a lot of good questions.  Observant questions. 

Tidings.  Tiding is usually found in the plural.  It is defined as a “piece of news.”

I thought that our deviation from an artificial tree to an evergreen that would assault our senses with its fragrant essential oils would be a blessing this year.

Much to my surprise and dismay, our green boughs brought discord . . . and tears.

“Mommy, I don’t want it to die!!”

But Asher, it will die eventually.  We are all dying every day. 

“I don’t want to get rid of our old tree.  Don’t throw away the box.”

I’m not going to throw the box away.  Daddy and I thought it would be a fun treat for you kids to experience a real Christmas tree.  One that God made and grew. 

A tree that truly reminds us of Jesus.

A cross . . . made of wood . . . wood that pressed against our Savior’s skin so that later we would celebrate His birth and rejoice in His rebirth.

That is why . . . before our tree has a hint of tinsel . . . we remember.

We remember what the tree stood for . . . and who was on that tree . . . Jesus. 

The nail . . . it reminds us.  It is hung as close to the tree trunk as possible.

Like Jesus, Asher, the tree had to die.  There is no way to avoid it.  Sure, the world could stop selling fresh Christmas trees. 

The tree would still die.

But this tree . . . this tree that we have here in our family room was probably planted the year you were born. 

It was planted by a person who intended for the tree to bring joy.  To one day travel to our house, to shelter your three gifts until the appointed day. 

Christmas morning. 

The tree is part of a larger story.  A plan.  It was purposefully planted in a spot where it could grow, spread out its limbs, only to be cut down.  Once it was cut it lay flat for many days until we brought it home.

And it became part of our story.  It found its purpose.  The reason for its life. 

Likewise, God designated each of us to live at a certain time . . . to be born, to live, to serve, to know Him . . . to be a part of God’s story . . . His plan – so that all may know . . that He is the Christ. 

He is the author of our story . . . we are a chapter in God’s giant book . . . the best one ever written. 

Like Jesus, our tree lived to die.  And in that . . . brought us joy tonight as we prepared a place for it in our home. 

It brings good tidings.

A reminder . . . of Jesus.

Tot School (5) Called Life

I warn you that this isn't your traditional Tot School post.

Sometimes the beauty of homeschooling is that you have a bit of freedom to experience life, or in our case, the loss of life. But because we homeschool, I think I am programmed to look for life learning opportunities.

One such moment presented itself this week. My deceased grandfather's wife, Pat, passed away, after a long full life of knowing her Savior, Jesus.

Part of my job as a parent is to help my children learn how to process feelings, circumstances, and choices in a healthy manner that honors and draws them closer to God. Because Pat's death will probably be Mr. Smackdown's first memory of death, I prayerfully approached how I would explain and introduce this concept to him, knowing Mr. Me-Too and Mr. Smiley probably wouldn't be too aware of their surroundings.

An excellent resource for the floundering parent is Focus on the Family. Founded by Dr. James Dobson, renowned child and family expert, this is where I turned.

I learned that it is best to not wait for a close and personal death, to introduce this rite of passage we all make. We see death daily, whether or not it registers in our brain. Sure playing cowboys and Indians initiates and awareness of shooting the bad guy. Every day, I end up having a wood gun pointed at my bottom, announcing that I am dead. But real death occurs when your child steps on an beetle and paints the sidewalk with smashed guts. What about the precious flower that wilts after being picked by toddler hands? Animals offer discussion as they lay on the side of the road. Have you ever stopped to look at one? Where do the flowers go in the winter? What about that hamburger that you ate at McDonald's (that has LONG been dead, even when it was alive)?

That reminds me one of my friends (Twin-Life) who has a dad that is a bit unconventional. On his way home with his grandsons, he stopped along the side of the road to allow his grandchildren (Superman and Mr. T) to pet a dead deer. The boys were able to see why this animal died and what death literally feels like. So, it was no surprise to their mom, Twin-Life, when Superman brought a dead bird to us while picnicking at a local park a few weeks back. Instead of freaking out, she very calmly used this incident as a learning opportunity, and then quickly washed his hands.

I doubt I have to tell you this, but just in case, never lie to your child. When someone dies, tell them that "Aunt Gertrude died." Don't wait to tell them and they overhear you discussing future plans. If you tell them that Aunt Gertrude went to sleep . . . do you really think your child will want to sleep at night? They might imagine never waking up, being put in a box, and having their face painted. Not fun for a four year old to envision. You might do well to avoid the expression, "Aunt Gertrude went away for a little bit." When the heck is Aunt Gertrude going to come back? Is she bringing a present? Should we leave the door unlocked for her (not a good idea if you live in the ghetto)? Does that mean Mommy and Daddy might go away for a little bit too?

If you know that your loved one knows Jesus as their Savior, then you can use this as an excellent opportunity to present the truth that those who love the Lord are with Jesus that very moment. Comforting and truthful passages to share with your child are:

1 Thessalonians 4: 13
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep (they were talking to adults--not children and asleep in the New Testament refers to Believers of Jesus who have died) in Jesus.
Revelation 21:4
And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain the first things have passed away.

Luke 6:23
Be glad in that day and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven.

John 5: 24
Anyone who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He will not be found guilty. He has crossed over from death to life.

Expect questions. You may not have answers. Admit that you don't know. But two things you do know.

1. Hope and encouragement is found in God's love letter to us, the Bible.

2. God knows the answer. Because He loves us, we have to trust that He knows how to take care of us and other people.

Death can be a fearful event to a child. Be willing to talk about your child's fears. It may be uncomfortable to enter a room full of people, many of who may be sad and crying. Your child may not want to get close to the casket or even look at the deceased loved one, should it be an open casket. Don't push them. Don't make them look or touch if they don't want to.

Yesterday, we entered the funeral home with one goal. See Nana. From there we sat and talked for a little bit with other family members lingering around. I then asked Mr. Smackdown and Mr. Me-Too if they wanted to go look at some pictures of Pat. The pictures were displayed near the casket, but far enough that they could glance at Pat without feeling pressure. Mr. Me-Too only desired to show everyone his Kleen Kanteen water bottle and run around grabbing dressed up legs with his sticky snack hands. However, Mr. Smackdown was excited to see the lady.

"Look at that lady lying down, Mommy!" he said jumping with the help of a vigorous tug on my arm and a nervous, slightly excited giggle. He was curious. Would it be appropriate for me to act like that? No. But was it age-appropriate for him? Yes.

If you need to cry. Cry. My husband has done a good job teaching the boys how to be compassionate and comfort someone when they are grieving. Often, they will come up to me and give me three pats on the back (I Love You) or a sweet leg hug. Sometimes they will say, "What can I do to help you, Mommy?" (Meaning a household chore needing assistance.) Or Mr. Smackdown will say to Mr. Me-Too, "Mommy is sad. Let's play quietly." It is important that your children see that it is OK to be sad and to cry when someone dies. You need to experience grief in order to process it and move on. If your child is sad, let them cry. Show compassion by snuggling with them, reading some Psalms, looking through old photographs, and/or offering a hug. If there ever was a time to be tender, this is the time.

So that was a bit of our school this week . . . we learned about life.

The Resurrection Day Challenge: an appropriate Gift

Sometimes being a Jesus follower can be harder among Christian circles than among friends who don't share the same spiritual beliefs. What?! Huh? Yes, among believers (people who believe that Jesus is God, lived, came to earth, died on a cross for each person's sins, rose from the dead, and went back to heaven to prepare a place for those who believe in these events) there is a camp of extreme followers of Jesus, and I am probably one of them. I'm not extreme in being cult-like, or only wearing skirts, or refraining from jewelry, or keeping my mouth shut and my opinions to myself.

I sometimes use U2 lyrics to praise God. I think our unusual dog can be a stroke away from sharing Jesus. I think that at times using our culture can reveal the hole in people's hearts, only to be filled by Jesus. I think following the Old Testament law regarding food, can actually keep you healthier. We celebrate Jewish holidays that point to our Messiah. I think essential oils can be God's healing tool. I think we should give birth like Eve did.

You could say that I am a little different, and my parent's would tell you that I have been different from birth.

I'm extreme in wanting my kiddos to experience Jesus in a radical and personal manner, void of the modern traditional ways of worshipping Jesus and celebrating modern holidays. And that causes friction. That causes tension. That causes some shaking in beliefs and people's foundation of how they have always believed. It makes life exciting, too. It causes you and me to seek the truth in God's Love Letter to us, the Bible. It causes us to ask, "God, how do YOU want me to live my life and steer the rudder of my family."

And that brings me to a recent discussion topic: what gift do you give at Easter? None. We don't celebrate Easter. Did you know that Easter is NEVER mentioned in the Bible? It is an ancient Pagan holiday. (You really should research the roots of Easter. Don't celebrate something because that is what everyone else does.) So why would we celebrate something that doesn't exist in scripture? Interesting.

Our family chooses to celebrate Resurrection Day, which sometimes falls on the Feast of First Fruits. You say, "Granola Mom stop being so stubborn and stuck on semantics." Nope.

I'm different. I'm called to be a follower of Jesus. I want to be radical. Jesus was radical and shook things up. He wanted the Pharisees and religious leaders of His day to dismiss the traditions of man, and follow the way of Him.

OK . . . so what gift can we give our kids? Not giving the seemingly harmless Easter basket complete with a Cadbury egg and stuffed bunny is a tough memory to dispose of, I will admit that. But what does an Easter bunny or egg teach us about Christ's death and resurrection on the cross? Both symbolize fertility, which has NOTHING to do with God saving mankind.

Shouldn't the gift of eternal life make us giddy beyond belief? What an exciting miracle and gift--this is to be the focus of our celebration. We should help our children to look forward with eager anticipation the arrival of this significant, reflective day that completely defeated death and brought hope, meaning, and purpose to our lives. I will be so bold to say that Resurrection Day is almost more important than Christmas, which actually has many Pagan connotations. Yes, Jesus had to be born. But Resurrection Day is the day that took away fear for all humankind. It is the day where God really showed His power and love for you and me.

In a nutshell, I really don't have an answer for you. I love to give my children gifts and look for any excuse I can to bless them. I'll be honest, I have already scouted and purchased a gift for my children. I am really excited to give them this living gift. Additionally, we will probably also work on some Memory Cross cards. And we do have Resurrection Eggs, but I am tempted to put them in boxes! A lapbook might emerge at some point.

The biggest and best gift? Be radical. Celebrate Resurrection Day in a meaningful and bold way. Defy modern religious traditions. Read the Gospel and ask God to show you how to celebrate this incredible event that will create a lasting and eternal impact for your family.